Until they Disappear

The rain has been falling all afternoon.

I sit here beside the window, watching the droplets gather on the glass and slowly slide downward, one becoming another, until they disappear at the sill.

It is dusk now.

Or perhaps it is morning.

I’m not sure anymore.

Once, I had dreams.

I dreamed of traveling to places I had never seen, of falling in love, of owning a little shop and filling it with beautiful things. I imagined warm walls, shelves filled with treasures, angels collected over the years, and plants growing in the windows where sunlight could find them.

I wanted to write.

I wanted a garden.

I wanted family gathered around me, friends laughing, voices filling the rooms. I wanted to touch people's lives somehow—to leave something behind that said, I was here. I loved. I mattered.

Some of those dreams came true.

I think they did.

I can feel that they did.

But I can't remember when.

I close my eyes and search for them, reaching backward into the darkness of my mind. There are pieces—little flashes of color, a face, a song, the smell of flowers, someone's hand resting in mine.

Then they disappear.

I try again.

Nothing.

The room behind me is quiet. No voices. No footsteps. No one comes.

The rain keeps falling.

I suppose this is where the dreams end.

Perhaps some of them simply arrived too late. Perhaps some were forgotten before I could finish them. And perhaps there are dreams still waiting somewhere, just beyond the reach of this tired mind.

I like to think they are waiting for me.

Maybe in another life, I will remember how to travel.

Maybe I will find that little shop.

Maybe the garden will be green again.

Maybe there will be people around a table, and I will know every face.

For now, I sit by the window and watch the rain.

I don't know what day it is.

I don't know what comes next.

But for one brief moment, as the last light fades from the sky, I feel something warm inside me.

Perhaps it is a memory.

Perhaps it is a dream.

Or perhaps it is simply the feeling of having once been loved.

And somehow, that is enough.